you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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