Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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