You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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