Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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