He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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