i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
