i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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