I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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