i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
