apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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