i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
