look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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