C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
