I'm so fucking centered right now
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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