i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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