i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
