i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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