Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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