I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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