____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
