You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
