Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
