College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
