Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
