she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
