I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
