Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
