i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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