OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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