fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
do herpes really smell.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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