Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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