apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
