did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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