Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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