my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
