yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
