The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
