your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
