He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
