She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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