I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
