Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
