so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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