I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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