I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize