I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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