ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
