with your own penis?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
