The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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