Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
