no, he came in my armpit
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
