In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
