Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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