Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Two words: blizzard sex
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
