watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
