every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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