You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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