bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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