He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
