you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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