I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
