he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
