i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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