Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
