alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
