just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
