last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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