dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
