There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
