It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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