Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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