and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
