I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
