You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
